Baby Don't Hurt Me No More

Howdy! Can you all believe October is almost over?! Like seriously, where did all the time go? Speaking of which, Halloween is coming up and boy am I excited! Now I'm not one for all the scary junk, but I do like to dress up. And I go ALL out. For the last 3 years at least I was a flapper and this meant I was a legit flapper, not just someone who put a feather in their hair and called themselves a flapper, no I did my research and looked pretty legit if I do say so myself. Anyway, I've decided to retire that getup because eh, I wanted to do something new. Now, I'm not going to tell you guys all of my Halloween ideas because I'm very particular about keeping my costume ideas a secret because they're pretty creative. I even have a Pinterest board dedicated to it (yes I know I'm lame, but whatever. I have to have some fun don't I?) So since it's closer to Halloween, I guess you'll just have to wait and come back next week to read what I'm going to be because I'm not spilling the beans! Ha, incentive. Anyway, I suppose I should stop rambling about my life and get to talking about my class, you know the drill.

So this week in class we talked about a topic that is VERY popular among people my age: love. Yes loooove *said in a sarcastic sickeningly sappy way*. So we actually talked about that yesterday in class and my professor Brother Williams (at BYU-I we call our professors by "brother" and "sister". Yeah, it kind of weirded me out too, but you get used to it. It's actually like being at church 24/7) posed the question "what is love" to which most of the class started singing, "What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more". Yeah, REAL original guys. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but these are just the thoughts that go through my brain so yeah...anyway so we had to get with some people and discuss what love meant to us and in my group we were all like "pshh, beats me". I basically said that I think the world's definition of love is the passion that they feel with it, the overwhelming feeling of being with someone. I don't know, that's a pretty philosophical question so I was just kind of stumped. Apparently it is actually very hard for the professionals to define as well so I guess I'm not too lost, which is good. Then we discussed if love means different things in different languages which I think English should have because we have one word to describe everything we love like "oh my gosh I'm in love with this chocolate right now" or "I just love you so much"! I mean, I guess you can differentiate based on how they say it, but it's still kind of confusing. In Greek, they have four words for love: eros, philia, storge, and agape. Eros is basically romantic or sexual love, the kind that gives you warm fuzzies when you're snuggled up to your one and only...ugh it makes me sick (bitterness alert). Philia is basically brotherly love, storge is parent/child love, and agape is service and wanting to improve other people's lives. If I totally butchered those, I'm sorry world, I'm just going off of my notes. So then he asked if we can have all of these for our spouse and we mostly agreed and I think we need all of them because if we really love our spouse, we will want to have that romantic relationship, be best friends with them and love them in that way, want to protect them, and then just wish for their well-being just because. I think in a worldly sense, people think love is just those feelings you get for loving someone romantically and I think that's why a lot of people feel so unfulfilled because they crave a deeper kind of love than what happens when two people first get into a relationship because most married people know, once the passion wears off, then what? To put it bluntly, I think a lot of people suck at developing companionate love because people are selfish, they spend too much time worrying about what they will get from the relationship when they should be worrying about the other person and then their needs will just come.

Now I'm going to say I don't have experience in this department and at this point you might all be thinking "oh hogwash, why should I listen to you when you have no idea what it's like?" Well, you might be right about that. I don't know what it's like to be romantically in love with someone frankly because I haven't met anyone who I would want to feel that with (okay sort of one person a little bit, ). Sure I've gone on a decent amount of dates with guys (by the way, I'm not dating anyone if that isn't clear. I'll let that one sink in), but none of the boys I have met at BYU-I are worth their snuff. And why would I say the guys at BYU-I aren't worth the time of day? I'll tell you why: they're selfish. Most of the guys I have gone on dates with only wanted one thing and that was to noncommittal make out for however long. I have one story in particular which I'll share with you. So about a year and a half ago, my good friend (I'm not mentioning names, but guy I went out with, if you're reading this, you know who you are) decided she wanted to help me out because apparently I'm lonely, and she wanted to set me up with a guy so we could go on a double date. Naturally I wasn't going to say no because I suppose it's good to get out once in a while, and so I said yes. The guys show up and take us to the store to get some stuff for making some dessert and then we were going to watch a movie, the usual not very creative, cliche, Mormon date (this is a cue to think outside the box. If you take me out on some cliche date, it's not good because it looks like you put no thought into it and you use this idea with every other girl) and during the movie, this guy eventually puts his arm around me which I thought was pretty good since this was a first date. They drive us home at curfew and this guy says we should get together again blah blah blah, end of date. I hear from my friend a few days later that apparently that wasn't enough for this guy, apparently he wanted me to be all over him because he liked to make out with girls he went on dates with. WHOA SIR. If he had been there I would have slapped him. I can't believe he actually thought I was going to make out with him on the first date, like seriously who does that? Desperate people? Well I was like good thing I'm not seeing that douche canoe ever again.

So yeah, guys are jerks. And I won't get into the story about a guy who was using me as a placeholder while his missionary girlfriend was away because you probably don't want to hear it. Maybe if it comes up again this semester I'll enlighten you with the details, but that about sums it up. Oh don't worry, he didn't get any if that's what you're wondering. He was shut down HARD. But enough of that. Basically, when I was in high school I was so excited to come to college to meet mature guys, but it seems like they're just stuck in the high school phase. Even the returned missionaries are bad, which are mostly who I've gone out with. It's like the second they get home they're like okay, let the douchebaggery commence. Ugh morons. Do you seriously think you're going to get an amazing girl with that attitude? So to sum up yes I don't know what romantic love is like so I can't sit here and preach about how amazing it is, but I'm going to hold out for some guy who really proves he's worth it because I'm only going to go to the next step of dating with someone who is serious about me. I know my man's out there somewhere and I know he's coming, I just have to be patient. Sometimes it seems hopeless and I wonder what's wrong with me, but maybe that's just because I'm being saved for someone worth my time. I'd like to think that because if I've been doing all this work to make myself better, my man had better be on my level.

I want someone who wants the romantic stuff, but takes the time to really be my friend. I want someone who will work beside me. I want someone who will encourage me to chase my dreams because he believes in me. I want someone who loves his Heavenly Father and will put Him before me any day. I want someone who I can laugh with and probably at me because let's face it, I'm hilarious. I want someone who will protect me from other people, things, and even myself. I want someone who listens and does the little things because the little things matter. I want someone who would rather just do nothing with me than doing something extravagant. I want someone who has ambitions and dreams of his own with a drive to pursue them. I want someone who will love me at my best and at my worst because I can't promise the honeymoon stage will last forever. I want someone who doesn't tell me things are impossible, but tells me I can do it and will help me. I want someone who will love our kids. I want someone who is a worthy priesthood holder. I want someone who sees things from a different perspective and has the courage to voice his beliefs because I'm not going to be the leader all the time and make all the decisions. I want someone who wants the best for me even if he's mad at me. And I want to be all of these things for him, and more.

Ladies and gents, hold out for the person who will do these things for you and whatever else you want in a person. Hold out for someone who is worth it and isn't just there for kicks. I know the warm fuzzies feel nice and believe me, I have felt them briefly with one person before, but that's not all what love is. Wait for someone who just wants to be your friend with no strings attached and you'll find him/her. It seems life really starts to turn around when you're focused on becoming your best self and serving other people. I'm still in the process, but I have faith my person is coming.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great weekend! I know I am! I'm going to be carving pumpkins! See you next week.

Love,

Liz